8 Ways To Bond With Your Partner
The things bringing down men are fairly easy to pinpoint, though
incredibly difficult to fix: widespread addiction to pornography and other
vices, a dearth of male authority figures, and a consequent lack of faith. After
so much bogus psychologizing, commentators and scholars are finally taking the
pornography problem seriously (the ridiculous eulogizing of Hugh Hefner
notwithstanding). Besides the horrible exploitation of the women involved,
pornography essentially neuters male audiences; it kills their
inner drive, not just in sex, but all aspects of life. Men addicted to
porn, like men addicted to drugs or alcohol, have little motivation to do more
and achieve. For this reason, many men hardly bother with asking women out. Usually, they will make pathetic excuses for themselves and wait for
some beautiful (and usually intoxicated) woman to sleep with them for a night.
And if the hookup ideal does not pan out, these men—or more properly,
man-children—can always comfort themselves with fake women on the screen and
videogames.
The porn addiction would not take such a strong hold without
the great loss of fathers and father-figures laying the groundwork.
Living with households where the father is marginalized or absent and attending
schools with few male teachers, boys have no one to teach them about their
masculinity. To no one’s surprise, boys have a different nature than
girls—one that is generally more vigorous, more aggressive, more honor-seeking,
and less sensitive and patient—and they desperately need this guidance. Only male
role models can help with channeling this nature towards constructive ends
rather than destructive ones. They can empathize with the growing man and
instill virtue in a way that even the best woman cannot. The mother’s failure
to empathize will frequently turn her advice and direction into harping and
nagging. She can plead with her sons to achieve and not waste time on
videogames, but as the trends show, most boys choose not to listen because
their mothers just don’t understand. A father, however, does understand and has
the capacity to motivate his son to do more.
Finally, without a father and burdened with so many bad habits, most men
have given up on going to church. As a result, most men never hear such common
advice (obnoxiously dubbed, “life-hacks”) like working hard, staying pure, and
loving others. For the un-churched male, happiness is a feeling, meaning is
something he creates, and everyone else is to blame for his failure.
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